I have long wondered "why can't I finish my projects? Am I really just a big lazy girl? What is blocking me and why am I so afraid of failure?" I don't necessarily have the answer to these why yet, but I have retained a few interesting elements. I spoke to a brother about this and something he told me really struck me: "Develop a mindset that is focused on the present."
Exodus 16: 1-36 tells the story of the children of Israel receiving manna: the bread sent from heaven by God. One serving per day, per person. In their case, they had to depend on God for their very survival as it was their livelihood. Each evening they were to have the confidence that God would provide for them the next morning, and God never betrayed that trust.
God calls us to give everything to Him. It's a sentence we hear a lot, but we don't necessarily realize its impact and depth. If we try to cope on our own, what awaits us in the end will be disappointment and failure. Having a mindset focused on the present allows us to give ourselves fully to the task that God has entrusted us with, and although planning is necessary, when we are leaning on a project we must ignore everything. It is only in God that we can fully exploit the gifts He has given us, and also make our brain function for all the tasks He has given us, even the most "mundane".
I slowly realize that my fear of failure is surely a camouflaged form of pride. I wish I could do it all at once. I don't want to ask for help to anyone. I want to be on top without too much effort, with ease, like when I was little: but that's not what God calls us to do. God inspired me to be creative, like the craftsmen cited in Exodus, and to sharpen this gift, work is essential. Work is considered good by God. I have to work hard and glorify God through my plans.
Let us not lean on ourselves even in the time of adversity, when many tasks fall on us, but let's have faith that God has already prepared our "manna" for this precise moment. Everything comes from Him and we do everything for Him.
I have a frame with a quote, inspired by Colossians 3:23, on my desk that says "Do it with love". Now is the time to apply it myself ...
In Christ,
Ziona
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