" The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn "
Isaiah 61:1-2
A rather surprising thing happened to me on December 7. Monday of this week.
I wanted to share with you my thoughts on this strange coincidence that speaks, even shouts at me.
It so happens that during my time of personal devotion in the morning, I usually read one or more reading plans on Youversion. As Advent began on November 29, I read, with some brothers and sisters, a plan entitled "Journey to the Crèche". However, I was also going through a rather difficult period of mental health, like a plunge into darkness. So I started a plan called "Suffering is never in vain". Two plans that are in no way related to each other.
I need to clarify perhaps the usual circumstances of these depressive episodes. I know very well all the truths and promises of God, but it is as if I refused them. I close my heart to what God wants to tell me, and besides, even as I continue to give of my time to the Lord time every morning, my heart is not really ready to receive what He has to say to me. When I go through these depressive episodes, I have to confess that what matters to me is often, no, ALWAYS my own person, the fact that I can’t lean on anybody (what madness, considered that the Master of the Universe commands me to unload on Him all my worries!), the fact that ultimately self-pity is a bit comfortable, and the fact that I will surely one day bring ruin to everyone around me.
So, Monday December 7, 2020. Early in the morning, I pray, I open my Bible app to read my plans and oh what is my surprise when I see that the text is the same for both plans. Two reading plans that have nothing in common, from the theme to the editor. But as I said, I preferred to dismiss this fact with the back of my hand, because I was not ready to step out of the comfort of my selfish sadness. As you read me you might tell yourself that I am hard on myself.
But precisely, if I am writing this post it is also to make one thing clear: within 6 months (June 2021), the person I am now will be dead. Those who know me might wonder if this is a tasteless sequel to my suicide jokes, but no, it's a resolution. With the help of God, I intend to bury once and for all the broken person who until then has stolen my life, my joy, my energy, in order to be able to reveal the true person that I am in Jesus. I wish that the glory of God could finally shine through me and that I could stop being a useless servant in the Kingdom.
Isaiah 61: 1-3. What is so special about this passage?
It is a promise of a bright future for His people and each of His sheep. At this time that I truly consider so difficult in my life, God speaks to me clearly and tells me that He heals my broken heart. May he deliver me from what binds me, including addictions, emotional ties from the past, traumas and fears. The title of the chapter is "Messenger of good news" and this text is precisely the one that Jesus read, and to which he testified that this text spoke of himself, of his person, and that it is really through HIM that his people are delivered. In fact, Jesus has already accomplished all of this and it is up to us to respond with faith and gratitude to this wonderful gift that he gives us, to be fully delivered from the grip of sin that mistreats us so harshly, this sin that lies to us and makes us believe that it wants our good while it drains all life out of us. We can respond to Jesus' gift of having constant access to the throne of the great King, without restrictions, without fear. The gift of living now a new life that is bathed in the grace of God. The gift of knowing how to appreciate living for Him, even through suffering, and of believing that He knows what is best for each of us, he who loves us.
The following words are for anyone who needs it:
You are never alone, God loves you.
Be blessed.
Ziona
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